My story with infertility is a whirlwind.
I’ve had 4 miscarriages and 3 healthy, beautiful baby girls. It all began when I was just married and had turned 23. I stopped taking my birth control pills, figuring I would let my body regulate itself. I had seen a gynecologist who told me to stay off the pill for about a year before trying to conceive. You can imagine what a big surprise it was to us when I never got my period!
I took a home pregnancy test, and it was positive. When I told my husband, he was not happy. He was petrified! We were just married. We were children ourselves who were just starting life together, and we basically had no security. My husband was an electrician at that time (as is every Israeli) and I worked at a magazine. There were many tears during those days as we dealt with our complex new reality.
I immediately fell in love with whatever was growing inside of me. My husband was taking longer to come around. Home alone one day, I started getting cramps. The bleeding began and got heavier and heavier. I called my doctor who confirmed I’d miscarried at 6 weeks pregnant.
That night, my husband walked in with the most beautiful flowers to celebrate our pregnancy – not knowing we’d lost our baby. We cried together. From that moment on, we were both full-steam ahead on becoming pregnant. Now we knew we were ready for a family.
One year after that awful, fateful miscarriage we were blessed beyond our wildest dreams with the most adorable, charismatic, loving child. Danielle was the absolute center of our universe, and family life was glorious! Of course, we wanted a sibling for our angel. By the time Danielle turned one, we made it our job to make another baby.
I felt so lucky that I conceived after only 6 months of trying. My doctor assured me that I’m young and healthy, and I should continue my activities as usual. I danced at Zawacki Studio 6 nights a week after my husband came home to be with our baby. 4 months pregnant and stomach pains woke me in the morning. My doctor asked me to hurry into his office. I lost the baby, who had been stuck in the fallopian tube and was absorbed into my body. I was crushed.
I wanted to try again immediately, but my doctor wanted me to wait 6 achingly long months. This time it took more than a year to get pregnant. When it finally happened, we were ecstatic and had nothing but hopes for our unborn child. I went for my 12-week check-up, and the doctor didn’t like what he saw on the sonogram. The fetus was not developing properly, and they needed to terminate my pregnancy. I was given some hormones to naturally abort the baby.
The hormones played havoc on my mind. It was pretty horrific. We again got through it. After the third consecutive miscarriage (there was one other that never fully implanted very early in the pregnancy), I went to an infertility specialist who my doctor recommended. He had the best credentials but the worst personality. He basically put me on Clomid (one of many drugs used to
treat infertility) and let me be. I cringed every time I saw him. He made me feel helpless and alone. For what felt like an eternity, it never worked.
I remember the last straw. I dramatically got my period. Filled with anguish, I took my fist and punched it through a wall. I didn’t think I could take much more. We talked about adoption and ended up getting a golden retriever. I switched to a new doctor, who quickly became my lifesaver, my hero. He introduced us to the drug Pergonal. This doctor listened to my fears and helped me understand that I was not alone. He gave my husband an orange with a syringe and taught him how to give me these injections every night at home. Through it all, my husband was my rock. Every step of the way he supported any decision I made.
Immediately, we conceived Arielle (who was a twin until 16 weeks). The joy of life was once again! I carried her to term, and our miracle baby was naturally delivered in under an hour. Quick and easy delivery said a lot about the person this child would become.
By the time Arielle was 2, I was ready for another baby. I went back to the doctor for another run with Pergonal. This time it took us 3 rounds until we were successful with our third baby, Michaela. (She was also a twin for the first trimester). We could not have been happier. We had moved into a small house in Roslyn. We built bunk beds for Danielle & Ari and prepared an all-white nursery for our newest arrival.
Seeing this scene, you’d never know the pain we had gone through to bring these 3 exquisite girls into the world. This pain is something that would be easy to push away from my thoughts, but it is my hope that sharing our experience can help others know we can all overcome life’s most challenging tests and be grateful, hopeful & appreciative for our blessings.