MOTHERHOOD thoughts

Being a full time mom and also having a full time job is a blessing and a curse. I feel like there are some days where I just feel so guilty for focusing on my work and then days where I’m with Ruby and feel so guilty about not working at all. Finding a balance as a mother is a day by day thing – I don’t believe there is one rule of thumb on how to find that balance. I take each day as it comes and learn. With my new baby coming in only 10 weeks, I knew it was time to make some changes. I decided to get an office. With my clothing line launching and the expansion of my team – I wanted a place for everyone to go and be able to focus on their jobs, including myself. Even if I can get myself there for a couple hours a day and then come home and be a mother – I feel I’d do a better job at both this way.

Ruby is at an age now where she is super attached to me while I’m home. She doesn’t like me being in any room that she isn’t in and if it’s my office she will find toys out of office supplies and ways to stay close to me at all times (which by the way is so not a complaint it’s seriously my favorite thing ever but definitely doesn’t make it easy for me to get things done).

When I’ve taken photos the last few weeks with my photographer, Ruby immediately screams “take pictures with tawni!!” – she loves being apart of it all of a sudden which kind of is a perk for me because now I have all these amazing professional photos of me and my baby girl all dressed up. I’ve started to notice that in some way incorporating her in to my every day (including my work) has been a positive experience and maybe that’s what I will continue to do as long as she asks for it. It also will go hand in hand with a new baby. I’m wondering if she’ll want to be apart of a lot of that as well, like feeding her, bathing her, changing her diapers, etc. These are just some ideas but love chatting with other moms to hear what worked for them!

I’d love to hear from some other mamas out there about how you find your balance and how some of your transitions were into welcoming a second child!

Photography by Tawni Bannister.

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  1. There is no such thing as balance when it comes to working full time and raising two daughters! It takes a village! As a follower it would be interesting to hear about how much help you have. Do you have a nanny 7 days a week? Will you get a baby nurse?

  2. I have a daughter that is 3 weeks younger than Ruby, and let me tell you it is a blast to watch your stories and find so many similarities between them. Full disclosure, we have watch the balloon video for the gender reveal an embarrassing amount of times, its requested weekly and she laughs hysterically when that balloon is popped! I work full time, and I think it’s very important to just be present for them when you are home with them, no distractions (ie phones/tv). You will miss being away for part of the day but you will become more productive with work and will value you time with her when you are home. I think I am a much better mother because I work and I think it is important to show our girls that you can have a career you love and have a fantastic family life! I’m due with baby #2 in less than a week, so I’m not sure how that balance will work quite yet! Love following you and Ruby, good luck mama, you will do just fine! xoxo

  3. I don’t usually comment on blogs, but I follow you on insta and am blown away by how similar our daughters are. You seem like such a great mama and Ruby seems so easy going. I just had my 2nd 2 months ago… the first couple weeks will definitely be an adjustment period for everyone but you’ll find you groove and Ruby will adapt quickly. The more people you have around to distract her the better. Make sure everyone says Hi to her first when they come over! … and she’ll definitely be mommy’s little helper. My daughter had no interest in her baby doll before, but now she wants to do everything to it that mommy does with baby. And I do work full time, on mat leave now… I send her to daycare full time and the guilt eats at me every day… hoping to be able to find more flexibility to be home when they’re older :-/ good luck and congrats!

  4. I have no advice on work/mama balance but I have a little girl who is 22 months older than her brother and I was so nervous about how she would react because she was so attached to me! One of the things I did was to make sure I did not hold the baby when she met him so that she wouldn’t automatically feel jealous of him and then I told her constantly how much help I would need and I would love for her to be my special helper with the baby. I always said she would have to teach him everything because she’s so big and special and I wanted him to be just like her! The sense of pride she felt in that made all of the difference. Of course, finding time for just the two of us was also vital. Now they’re 3 and 5 and best friends. She still thinks she’s his little boss lady and he doesn’t know any difference and adores her. Second babies truly are twice the blessings and double the fun! You all will do great.

  5. I have a 5 year old son and 2.5 year old daughter, and also run my own business from home.
    When she was first born it was a BIG adjustment. I dove back in 8 days postnatal and was fine for a few months but then sh*t got real and I had a complete meltdown. It took some time to get back on my feet but eventually I found my stride and got more help both at home and at work. I also learned to say NO to certain projects and that was empowering.
    We are in a nice groove now since the 5 year old is school full time. But my 2.5 year old is only there a few mornings so I can completely relate to the constant guilt at never being 100% focused on my job or on my kids. There are so many days where my daughter plays nearby while I pound away at the computer or take phone calls. Occasionally she even tags along to a meeting and I deem her my mini intern for the day.
    It’s been so refreshing and inspiring to see how much time Ruby spends with you given the breadth of your work. So keep it up and know that you are doing your best. Good luck and congrats!

  6. You’re not a full-time mom since you have a nanny. Just because you have a child and another on the way (to keep your husband from straying), doesn’t make you an expert on parenting and motherhood. And you don’t have a job, so please STFU bimbo!

  7. Is this a joke? Please tell me a woman that documents her days on instagram lounging around filming their kid playing with their expensive clothes and make up is not talking about finding the balance of being a full time working Mom. On behalf of us Moms out there with REAL jobs I take offense. My kids spend 10 hours a day in daycare because of my job. I rush around on my lunch break running the errands that you probably pay someone to do. The little time I get at night with my kids before bed is spent doing dishes, folding laundry, microwaving dinner (who has time for cooking every night!) squeezing in a workout, preparing for the next day. My poor kids are dragged out of bed by 6:30am every day so I can be at work on time. I have to pray that the stomach ache they have at night doesn’t keep them out of school the next day because I can’t miss yet another day of work because, at this age in full time daycare, they are always sick. You’ll never know the guilt of having to give your kid some Motrin and pray you don’t get the call from school that they have a fever and need to be picked up. Because again, can’t miss more work! You fell ass backward into wealth and this pseudo-internet fame for being what? A blogger? Designer? Professional package-opener? You have the luxury of spending as much time as you want with your kid. Of having hired help for all the other nonsense and you have the balls to talk about finding balance? You are insulting all the women out there who get to spend maybe 2 hours a day with their kid because by the time they get home it’s almost bedtime for them. You should be grateful. You should be thanking the powers that be every day that you are lucky enough to live the life you do. And you sure as hell should be donating those boxes of pasta to people who don’t hire manicurists to come to their homes for their weekly pampering. I started following you because of your style. It was a fun escape. I have ignored your wastefulness, the excessive shopping (yet still constantly getting free stuff), the nonsense that is your daily life because it’s a fun distraction. Like watching the spoiled brats on the Real Housewives of NYC. But for you to write a post about the balance of motherhood is a new low. Shame on you.

  8. First of all, you don’t have a legitimate job let alone a full time job so stop with that.
    Secondly, finding a balance? I actually follow you on Instagram and you’re one one of the laziest people I’ve ever seen there. If you’re not lounging, you’re laying down, either those or you’re eating in bed while watching TV, a habit that your very young daughter has seemingly already adapted to as well. All this and you still have help or a nanny. I get so much sloth vibes from your stories I find myself muting it sometimes.
    And lastly you are very, very lucky and privileged to have a much easier life than everyone else, you’re actually with your daughter all day. Most struggle with two jobs and still taking care of chores before having time for their kids.
    Also, please teach Ruby how to start eating properly. It’s unbelievable how unpleasant it is to watch lately, there are children younger than her that can already hold baby utensils and baby sippy cups and eating with baby bibs in high chairs, I know parents groom their children differently but honestly…

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