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How Becoming A Mother Made Me More Social

I’ve always been a homebody.

Growing up, I either hung out with my sisters, my parents, or the one best friend I had at the moment. I was never part of a big group of girls but it wasn’t something that upset me. I was just independent and felt super secure with my relationships with my sisters that I never felt an urgency to make more friends. In some ways it was a negative, but for other reasons it was definitely a positive.

Throughout high school and college, I had one or two best friends and constantly had a boyfriend (different ones). I felt as though girls never really liked me, and often felt like a target.  Overall, for one reason or another, girls were mean to me. It bothered me when I was young, but as I got older I started not to care as much because I was happy with myself. This might have kept me from being social at times, but I truly never thought too hard about it.

Once I graduated college and started my blog, the hate and targeting amplified to a new level. But, by this point, I was able to handle it much better. I genuinely enjoyed doing what I was doing and met a guy who fully supported me (love you, Brandon!). Since I met the person I wanted to spend the rest of my life with, I really didn’t feel the need to make more girlfriends. I was always with Brandon and sort of just hung out with him and his friends. Until, of course, he told me he preferred if I tried to be more social and make some friends. Haha!

Once I got pregnant with Ruby, a lot of things began to change. I felt as though I was able to connect with women in a different way. I really felt like some of the women I was speaking and meeting with really cared about the fact that we were both pregnant and were going through something together. The feeling was mutual and I loved it.

Once I had kids, everything changed. It wasn’t about me anymore, it was about our children and supporting each other as women. I’ve met some incredible people at classes, playdates, birthday parties and as a result, have formed some of my strongest bonds all because of my children. While I still consider my sisters my best friends in the world, it’s hard for them to relate or understand what it’s like to be a mother. I needed to make my own relationships and I’m so glad I did. My friendships from before kids have become stronger and deeper since we are now going through similar things and are at equal stages in life.

But aside from that, Ruby forced me to get myself out there, connect, meet people, share our stories and form friendships that I can’t believe I went this long without! My girls have also pushed me to entertain more, be proactive and more involved with pretty much everything. I think the universe knew that it made most sense to bless me with two beautiful daughters who will be my best friends for life.

 

By Arielle Charnas

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