I mean, EVERYTHING!
Before Ruby, I don’t think that I had ever held a baby before as crazy as that sounds. I didn’t know a single thing about babies or motherhood, just that I wanted to be a mom. When I had my babies, everything fell into place and I learned so much.
1. The first thing I learned was all about the instant connection I felt to the growing fetus inside my belly. The second I found out I was pregnant, my selfishness faded and everything became about the baby inside of me.
2. How much pregnancy and motherhood changes your body, your mind, your marriage and your priorities. Everything changed (not to scare any of you) for the better!!
Obviously, my body will never be what it was pre-babies, but I don’t even remember it then. I know my body now and I’m proud of what it has gone through, what it brought me and how hard it fought to keep us both safe and healthy and bounce back.
When it comes to my mental state, post-babies I suffered from postpartum anxiety. My fear of losing anyone in my life, getting sick myself or being separated from my husband and babies has been a constant struggle.
My marriage has only gotten better. Since having my babies, I feel a deeper connection with my husband even though we don’t get to spend as much time together as we used to. I appreciate him more than ever and I feel more apart of him now that we have created two human beings together!
My priorities!!! What did I even worry about before my kids? I can’t even remember the things that stressed me out pre-babies.
3. The GUILT!!!! I can barely do anything without getting anxious about leaving my kids. I always feel like I could be doing more as a mother and it’s a tough feeling.
4. The amount of love you can have for another person. The way I feel about my girls is really tough to describe. They are like an extension of both me and my husband, but ten times better. I live and breathe for them which is amazing but also terrifying all at the same time.
5. Why babies cry… because they’re hungry, tired or not feeling well. Fair. Before that, I never understood why babies would cry all the time but now I get the full depth of it. They can’t communicate otherwise and they are growing by the minute. I wish I could say I learned how to console them but that’s up in the air. It’s hit or miss most of the time, haha.
6. The lack of time you have to focus on yourself. If I’m not working or with my kids, my day consists of organizing classes, doctor appointments, playdates, school applications, and things like a special dress-up day at school. I’m beyond lucky to have a right hand woman (Nikki) to help me keep everything in check but the scheduling for a kid, two nonetheless is NO joke.
7. Rewarding. Being a mother is so freaking rewarding. Whether you have nannies, had a C-section, birthed vaginally, in a hospital, or at home, work full time, are a stay-at-home mom – whatever it may be, being a mother is damn HARD. By the end of your day, nothing is more rewarding than putting the kids to sleep, kicking back with a glass of red wine and your favorite show in bed and being like – I did it, we made it through today.